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"How the Relationship Series Impacted Me" - by Melanie Risdon-Betcher |
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Written by Shawn Baran
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Thursday, 03 December 2009 14:34 |
I have let a lot of things shape me into someone I don’t want to be. I have let experiences with family and others turn me bitter and jaded, and because of that most of my relationships have suffered. I have found it hard to see the best in people, give them the benefit of the doubt, love them without judgment, trust them, etc. All of this has made me feel very alone, distant and…well frankly, ugly. It often feels like I am looking at the world through a lens tainted with distrust, dislike, cynicism, and bitterness.
For the past 4 or 5 years, I have been working hard to figure out where I’ve gone wrong in relationships, why I am always feeling so hurt, wronged, frustrated, mad, etc. But the piece that has been missing from a lot of the relationship work I’ve been doing was Christ. Knowing and really accepting what Christ has done for me makes giving “GRACE” to others easier. But I think I didn’t really believe that Christ was giving ME grace, forgiving ME for my sins, accepting ME as I am, loving ME for who I am.
This series has given me some new and interesting tools to help me restore some of those relationship, such as the power of prayer. I am now very diligently praying for those I am struggling with. I am also praying regularly that God help me to soften my heart, to see those around me as I want to be seen, with compassion and love, to trust again, to love as Jesus did, without judgment and condemnation. I am also trying to look at people and myself like the acorn idea. I am looking in the mirror to see what it is that is in me that feels upset or hurt or frustrated by what someone else is doing. I am focusing more on my log and not on their speck. I am realizing that forgiveness isn’t something that has to be earned, and that being unforgiving is only holding me back and negatively impacting my life/health/family/etc.
I have to say, this has been a very intense 7 part series for me. Every Sunday and every Wednesday after our women’s group, I often would joke that I felt like I needed to go home and have a stiff drink (although I’m not a big drinker) as all of this has been heavy on my head and heart. But, through the Lord, I feel that it is possible for me to become who he made me to be...the loving, energetic, caring, compassionate, thoughtful, and happy person that I once was. Through Him and Him alone I can do it. It’s going to take a lot of work and focus as a lot of my thinking and attitude have become habitual, but I know I am worth the work, my peace, my happiness, my family, my life and my soul are all very much worth the effort. Thank the Lord for all he has done and will do in me!!
Melanie Risdon-Betcher |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 04 February 2010 15:21 )
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